{"id":990,"date":"2017-06-13T09:00:30","date_gmt":"2017-06-13T13:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/?p=990"},"modified":"2017-06-12T22:31:26","modified_gmt":"2017-06-13T02:31:26","slug":"accepting-feedback-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly-part-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/2017\/06\/13\/accepting-feedback-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly-part-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Accepting Feedback: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (Part 3)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>We\u2019ve talked about \u201cgood<\/a>\u201d and \u201cbad<\/a>\u201d feedback as being things we did well and things we can work on, but what about when you get \u201cugly\u201d feedback? The kind when someone says something that is confusing, difficult to conceptualize, or just plain wrong. What do you do with feedback like that? It\u2019s hard to know how to address it or how to utilize it when the feedback itself is unclear.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ask for clarification.<\/b><\/p>\n

Feedback isn\u2019t set in stone \u2013 it\u2019s an ongoing process. Don\u2019t be afraid to ask for more information about the feedback you receive. Questions like, \u201cWhy do you say that?\u201d or \u201cWhat did I do that makes you think that?\u201d can prompt the person delivering the feedback to give you more detail. You can also ask for them to give you a specific example of what they observed. These details can help you reframe the initial feedback and will often sharpen an unclear observation into an actionable item.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, a judge on my team once told me that I needed to communicate better. The comment initially baffled me because I believed that I had explained his task clearly, he had not asked any questions about it, and he seemed to be executing it successfully. I asked him for more detail and he added, \u201cWhen you tell me to hurry, it causes me anxiety and makes it harder for me to be successful. While I\u2019m learning this task, please let me slow down and take my time.\u201d That more specific feedback allowed me to understand what aspect of my communication needed improvement – not the explanation of the work itself, but my supervision of him while he did it. The conversation allowed me to adjust my expectations and set the tone for a better working relationship for the remainder of the day.<\/span><\/p>\n

Check yourself.<\/b><\/p>\n

Carter<\/a> once told me, \u201cThe first thing you should do when someone says you\u2019re being an asshole is ask yourself, <\/span>Am I being an asshole?<\/span><\/i>\u201d While we don\u2019t always like the answer, taking an honest look at ourselves often unlocks opportunities to grow and improve. Especially if you receive similar feedback from multiple sources, sometimes shifting our perspective can show us things we didn\u2019t see before. Maybe we thought a certain method was best, but we haven\u2019t tried a new way. Maybe that other person\u2019s interpretation of policy could be correct. Maybe we thought our advice was helpful when it actually frustrates others. <\/span><\/p>\n

For example, a member of a team I lead told me that she felt like I didn\u2019t trust her. It surprised me because I view her as an extremely capable judge and I trust her to handle things completely. As a team lead I often take on the more difficult and complicated tasks assigned to our team intending to lighten the load for other folks. I had no idea that this practice could send the opposite of my intended message. In the future I will consider how I delegate tasks to ensure that I take into account both the workload and what message those assignments send. <\/span><\/p>\n

Watch for it later.<\/b><\/p>\n

Sometimes when initially receiving feedback, it may seem untrue or irrelevant. In that case, it may be best to file that information away for later, but make a mental note of it. Being aware of a potential issue can allow you to identify it if and when it recurs. Then, when it does happen, your mental light will go on and you\u2019ll say, \u201cOhhhhh . . . <\/span>that\u2019s<\/span><\/i> what that feedback meant.\u201d Connecting the feedback and the behavior may not be instantaneous, especially if the feedback was not very specific, but if you\u2019re looking for it, you\u2019ll likely find it.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, if someone mentions that you flip rounds too slowly at your FNMs, you may think, \u201cI always make good time. Why would they say that?\u201d But a few weeks later at FNM you are talking to a player and look up to realize that the last slip has come in and you weren\u2019t looking. As you quickly end your conversation and grab for the slip, you realize that <\/span>this<\/span><\/i> is what that person was talking about. <\/span><\/p>\n

Often feedback that may seem unclear can actually be very beneficial; you just have to invest the effort to decipher it. Give yourself time to think about and mentally process each bit of feedback you receive. It may start out as convoluted, confusing, or condescending, but when you set aside your initial emotional reaction and look a little deeper you will often find that it\u2019s also on point. Even if it\u2019s not, you can find useful things within int to take away from it.<\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019ve now considered feedback that is good, bad, and ugly. While feedback comes in all shapes and sizes, and sorting it into categories can help process it into bite-sized chunks that you can turn into real change on the floor of your next event. Positive feedback tells you where you are strong and which practices to continue. Areas for improvement help you focus your efforts on places that you can do better. Ambiguous or incorrect feedback poses the greatest challenge to finding ways to apply it, but it also offers the greatest reward when you discover its hidden meanings. <\/span><\/p>\n

Whether the feedback you receive is good, bad, or ugly, the most important part is what you do with it!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve talked about \u201cgood\u201d and \u201cbad\u201d feedback as being things we did well and things we can work on, but what about when you get \u201cugly\u201d feedback? The kind when someone says something that is confusing, difficult to conceptualize, or just plain wrong. What do you do with feedback like that? It\u2019s hard to know […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":338,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[90],"tags":[88],"language":[78],"class_list":["post-990","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-erin-leonard","tag-accepting-feedback","language-en"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/990","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/338"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=990"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/990\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1002,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/990\/revisions\/1002"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=990"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=990"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=990"},{"taxonomy":"language","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.magicjudges.org\/feedback\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/language?post=990"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}