When we discuss feedback in the judge program, usually we talk about coaching (communicating areas for improvement) or evaluation (providing context for how we view the capabilities of others by showing them where we think they rank). We also say asking for feedback, especially ahead of time, is useful in soliciting the type of feedback that you want to receive. This principle applies easily to these two different forms feedback can take. A third type of feedback to consider is one for
Several factors can cause us to reject instantaneously the feedback we receive. Sometimes the feedback strikes us as off-base, incorrect, or uniformed, causing a truth trigger. Other times we think their opinions or preconceptions of us are unfairly coloring their observations, causing a relationship trigger. And then there are times where what you are told violates a core belief you have about yourself. We call our reaction to this an identity trigger. What the other person is saying feels fundamentally
Last time on Coaching a Friend, we discussed the advantage we can gain by informing our coaching with our knowledge of our friends. In this final installment, I want to talk about the most difficult and possibly most necessary part of coaching a friend. Make it count. Our friendships also create coaching opportunities that others just won’t have. Your friend is more likely to start from a receptive position to your feedback and also more likely to act on what you say. Words spoken by people
Previously on Coaching a Friend, I wrote about the importance of remaining objective when identifying coaching opportunities involving our friends. For this installment, let’s focus on how we can use our friendship to take our coaching to the next level. Use what you know. Even though your knowledge of your friends can make it more challenging to spot coaching opportunities, it can also be a strength when providing coaching. You have the benefit of insider knowledge to how they think and
Your coaching can be informed by your knowledge of your friends and made easier by your level of comfort with them.
Coaching a student is much more in line with the traditional idea of coaching than my last topic. We do this all the time in the judge program. We call it mentoring. In fact, L2 judges are required to show a “willingness to mentor” other judges. While this practice is more commonly discussed than coaching a mentor, there are always ways to maximize the effectiveness of your coaching. I’d like to offer a few tips for how to get the most (coaching) bang for your (mentoring) buck. Learn
The idea of coaching a mentor, someone charged with the training and education of another, may seem to contradict the very idea of coaching. After all, isn’t the mentor the person who is supposed to be doing the coaching?